So a question to my readers - have any of you noticed a change in some of your friendships while any changes occurred in your life?? My best friends who have been in my life since elementary school and are supportive of me no matter what, but my college girlfriends have really done nothing but create unnecessary drama in my life. I will spare you all the gory details, but it has really bummed me out. Is this a part of life that I just need to accept or is there a solution that I am unaware of?
And not to be Debbie Downer today, but is anyone else concerned about Brit Brit? She's a mess right now and it's pretty concerning. I know she's a celebrity and I don't know her, but seeing the images of her out and about with this paparazzo guy buying pregnancy tests is worrying! Why are her people not intervening?
(pic courtesy of blog: teddyandmoo.com)
17 comments:
Oh no- girlfriend blues are not fun! I went through that with some friends a few years ago. In the end I had to sort of walk away from a few friendships that were become less than quality. But with one friend in particular, the pulling back on my end made her realize that her behavior was leading to the end of a long fiendship. Today we are closer than ever. Riding out those tough few years surprised me by resulting in an even more special and important friendship. Good luck!
I lost a very dear friendship after the birth of my first child. I still reach out every year or so but she never reciprocates. It still makes me sad.
I don't think it is unusual for friendships to change. I too still have my closest friends from elementary school (my bff and I actually went to nursery school together) but my college friends and I have drifted apart as we are all in different parts of the country now and in different stages of life. I think you will need to decide what is going to be best for you, and I like PPC's post, maybe they will come around after they see you pulling away.
It's so hard when this thing called "life" gets in the way. As I've gotten older and as the years have passed, friendships do change from time to time and that is totally normal. It's sad when time passes and keeping in touch becomes hard but I've been quite lucky to keep good friendships and when I talk to many of my friends who are far way and even after a few months (or more) it's like no time even passed, that's what I love most about true girlfriends. Good luck! It's always a hard one. Things will work out (in the end) if they are truly your friends.
I am very concerned for Britney. I want her to get her act together, quit hanging out with the slimy married guy, and wear some tights that are not all snagged up.
I feel your pain about friendships changing. This has happened to me as well. In terms of drama, one good friend started having an affair (!) and other destructive behavior. Combined with other issues (lack of things in common any more, her selfish attitude, etc), we drifted apart. I eventually acknowledged that I actually felt better about it, rather than trying to maintain a false semblance of a friendship that just was not there anymore. I think as you go through life you will encounter new friends; you will also drift apart from some, and you will grow closer to others. I am sure you are doing the best you can to be a good friend, and these things just happen... On the Britney note, I am now reading that the pregnancy test thing was a joke that she did to tease the reporters. If so, that was kind of insensitive to her sister?
The friend thing happens. My husband and I have both gone thru it. It sucks but we just had to ride it out. In the end we realized we were better off.
Oh yes, so many friendships have changed in my life. Some of my "adult friends" are people I knew growing up and never thought I would end up being friends with. A lot of my college friends are married, but have no kids and I do, so that creates somewhat of a barrier there.
As for Britt, God help us if she is preggo again, but I am thinking she is doing some of this for media attention. It seems to be working!
Friendships get tougher as we get older and grow..I've had to let some people go and I feel a lot better! I am still friends with them just don't see them as much. I have one friend that I am not in contact with anymore and it makes me sad, but when I see her she's changed so much it makes me realize it's for the best.
Britneys scaring me. I think she has multiple personality disorder.
It's funny how, as you get older, you really find out who your true girlfriends are. And those are the ones who will stick by you through every stage of life. There are definitely those girlfriends that kind of disappear once they get married - or especially when they start families. It's almost as if they feel they can't hang out w/ the single or childless crowd anymore. Which is sad and I totally don't get that. I have friends at every stage of life and I learn so much from all of them. I wouldn't have it any other way. I never want to get sucked into some bubble of friends who are just like me, you know? You're definitely at that transitional age where you're all still figuring stuff out. Invest in the friendships you know are worth investing in, and the rest will take care of itself. Best wishes! :-)
1. Yes, I have a handful of best friends that I've grown up with - and we never change (except for not seeing each other very much)...college friends - not so much! I think everyone goes through that transition and I feel your mood!
2. Why isn't ONE darn person giving Britney an intervention?? Seriously!
I think that right after college there is a lot of competition amongst girlfriends especially when weddings and babies are happening. Everyone wants to have the "best" wedding and the "most beautiful" baby. I have a few friends from college that I'm still close to, but in the end I would have to say that one or two of my oldest friends are still my closest and the new friends I've made are amazing. I think it also has a lot to do with priorities that change for some but not for others.
As for Miss Brit...the only reasonable solution I can think of is sterilization. Harsh, I know.
I have gone through the same thing with some of my friends. I think it is what happens around our age. I have one friend in particular that got married and became this Stepford Wife. It was very strange. We have drifted apart and now I realize it was for the better. The friends I have now are the ones who have been here through thick and thin. I hope things calm down for you!
I am a lot older than you but yes, the friend thing does change. Is it possible that they are not married and want to be? Could a tad bit of jealousy. I think as you get maried and have kids....you develop friendships with others who are married and then are having kids too. I know that my very closest frined now are those I have met through having kids/adopting. It is hard though. Hang in there and happy bleated birthday.
I do believe friendships change as you go through life. When I became engaged my very best friend pretty much stopped talking to me. It was very hurtful. For her it was a jealousy thing, very sad. We did start talking years later, but I have to admit it's not the same. I do think your friendships change along with your life stages. Hope you have a great weekend.
PS: Britney really needs an intervention. I feel sorry for her, she truly needs professional help.
Karen
I went through this with my high school friends when I met J. I think it really depends on the people that you're friends with.
I recently lost touch with a friend that I thought I was good friends with. She just decided we were no longer friends. It really hurt my feelings, but I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who sees their friends as disposable anyways.
I feel so badly for Britney. I just wish she had some grounded people in her life to help her. I don't think that her hanging out whit that shady paparazzo is helping.
By the way, when you wrote down a SATC quote, it made me think of my favorite quote which inspired my new blog name. Technically, that would mean you won the contest, so if you want a header for your blog, let me know. :)
You are so super cute! I've just discovered you through another blog. Anywho, I LOVE Boden-love, love, love it...saw you mentioned it in another one of your posts and I can totally relate-I want EVERYTHING in there! About the times a changing-yes, with my marriage, the birth of my first child and the choice I made to be a SAHM have all changed the course of my relationships dramatically. My best friend in the world has been the same girl, since we were 8. Other than her, I don't even talk to a single bridesmaid I had! It's not that we had falling outs or anything...just life has changed and b/c we no longer had tons in common, we drifted. Ugh...it's sad really.
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